The year twenty-fourteen is winding down to its last few days and pretty soon, my social media feeds will be flooded with posts looking back on the year that was, and counting down New Year’s resolutions.
I only have one major to-do for 2015: start writing again. I haven’t written anything more substantial than a grocery list in almost a year, and after scrolling through several blogs lately and feeling an inexplicable ache, I realized I had pretty much given up on the one thing that has always brought me comfort in the past.
If I were to compare this year with the few that preceded it, it was – for lack of a better description – uneventful but exhausting. It was devoid of any major changes, sensational happenings, dramas or heartaches that made the previous years more (cringe) memorable.
But for some reason, it was so dang exhausting. I wasn’t dating anyone but I felt so emotionally wasted from being giddy one moment, then down in the dumps the next. It didn’t dawn on me until my best friend gave a simple yet sound advice a few weeks back.
“Wag mo masyado dibdibin lahat.”
And then I realized just how much energy, thought and emotion I was pouring into my work that I was getting physically and emotionally tired. I tried to hide it behind perky smiles and colorful Instagram photos and apps-made motivational quotes, but half of the time, even I wasn’t buying it myself. Which was kinda scary because I didn’t want to turn into a bitter, burned out hag.
So, I won’t wait until next year. Right now, I’m gonna get off my tired, lazy bum and revisit my go-to outlet whenever I’m feeling anything. I’M GONNA WRITE AGAIN. Probably the first few pieces I’ll churn out will be total garbage so please pardon me and just block me the heck off.
But I won’t stop writing.
Perhaps I’ll finally learn to drive even if just an automatic and write about it.
I’m going to try to stop saying “no” to invites all the time because the I-have-too-much-work-to-do” excuse is just lame. And I will write about it.
I’ll drink my vitamins and milk religiously and achieve the weight I’v so longed for and write about it.
I’m gonna be more patient with people and try not to bite their heads off whenever I’m in a foul mood, and if I feel like punching someone in the neck, I’ll just write about it.
I will devote more time for my quiet time, my VG and church and maybe, just maybe, do get that small group at work off the ground, and write about it.
I’m going to get a head start on that 15-year reunion stuff I’m supposed to spearhead and write about it.
I will strive not to snap the next time someone makes another comment how I’m not getting any younger and having a boyfriend is the only way to ensure my true happiness and prove my worth as a woman. I might as well just write about my impending old maidenhood, yes?
Heck, maybe I’ll go on that date my boss has been setting me up with for the longest time just so I can say I’ve tried to go on a blind date at least once in my life, then write about it.
You know what they say about the pen being mightier than thee sword? Well in my case it’s going to be my laptop’s keyboard. And I’ll slay the blues and doldrums by putting them into word and sentences.
So here’s the deal, 2015, I am going get a life and let the world know about it in all it’s painstaking and gory details.