Truth hurts… and that’s a good thing

We’re familiar with the phrase, “sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.” I find that to be true.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for affirmations and giving credit where it’s due. This applies more to telling the truth, to the point of being brutally frank, if it will help the other person. There are times when positive scripting does more harm than good.

Also, being too kind can be perceived as cowardice. As in, you avoid telling the plain, blatant truth for fear of hurting the other person, when it is just what they need. Sometimes a good slap on the face works better than an awkward hug.

Don’t be afraid to tell the truth. For women, we can be labelled as “mahadera” or that b-word if we’re too frank. As long as you’re right, you’re in the proper place and your intentions in telling the truth is for the well-being of others, by all means, speak up!

For men, please please be real men and grow a pair! You’re not doing us favors by avoiding or delaying the truth. Don’t give some half-baked lame excuse now because you feel women are too emotional to take it in. We may cry or get hurt, but we’re tough. Getting slapped with the truth now sure beats finding about it later on and from other people too.

Honesty is indeed the best policy, and courage is the perfect to for its practice. Because even if you’re either the one dishing out the truth or the one at the receiving end, you’ll need courage to be able to do both.

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Oprah Says…

A friend PM’d me this from “What Oprah Winfrey Had To Say About Men.” I was nodding almost all throughout. I guess she’s not one of the world’s most influential people for nothing, eh? ūüôā

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If a¬†man wants you, nothing can¬†keep him away. If he doesn’t¬†want you, nothing can make¬†him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself¬†for a relationship that’s not¬†meant to be. Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man¬†before you find what makes¬†you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the¬†man was not treating you as¬†you deserve then heck no,¬†you can’t “be friends”. A¬†friend¬†wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle.

If you feel like he¬†is stringing you along, then he¬†probably is. Don’t stay because¬†you think “it will get¬†better.” You’ll be mad at¬†yourself a year later for staying when things are no¬†better. The only person you¬†can¬†control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a¬†bunch of children by a bunch of different women.He didn’t¬†marry them when he got¬†them pregnant, why would¬†he¬†treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.Maintain boundaries in
how¬†a guy treats you. If¬†something¬†bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything.¬†He will use it against you¬†later.You cannot change a¬†man’s behavior. Change¬†comes from within.

Don’t¬†EVER make him feel he is more¬†important than you are…Even if¬†he has more education or in¬†a better job.Do not make him¬†into a quasi-god. He is a man,
nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow¬†someone else’s man. If he¬†cheated with you, he’ll cheat
on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT
dogs.You should not be the one doing all the bending. Compromise is two-way street.

You need time to¬†heal between relationships.. .There is nothing cute about¬†baggage…Deal with your¬†issues before pursuing a new¬†relationship.

You should never¬†look for someone to COMPLETE¬†you…A relationship consists of¬†two WHOLE individuals…Look for someone¬†complimentary.. .not¬†supplementary.

Dating is¬†fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him¬†miss you sometimes…whe n a¬†man always know where¬†you¬†are, and you’re always readily¬†available to him – he takes it for granted.

Never move into¬†his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man. Don’t fully¬†commit to a man who doesn’t¬†give you everything that you¬†need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what¬†makes a lot of women stay in¬†relationships that are abusive¬†or hurtful: Dr. Phil says: You¬†should know that. You’re the best thing that could ever¬†happen to anyone and if a¬†man mistreats you, he’ll miss¬†out on¬†a good thing.

If he was¬†attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he’s not¬†the only one.They’re all¬†watching you, so you have a¬†lot of choices.Make the right ¬†one.

Ladies take care of your¬†own hearts…. Share this with other women and men (just¬†so¬†they know).¬†You’ll make¬†someone smile, another¬†rethink her choices, and¬†another woman prepare.

Decisions, choices and actions

Read, read! It Takes God, a Man and a Woman.

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*photo taken from the post

When I need some godly, real man perspective, this is one site I go to. I don’t know a lot of sensible men to talk to (haha!), so just reading about the plethora of posts here about topics that not only Christian men, but women go through as well really helps. Of course, this and the Word. I also get a pick on men’s brains. Check out actlikeaman.org.

I posted something a bit related to this post at least a couple of weeks before I watched the movie, so you can’t say I’m ripping off quotes from the movie, nyaha! To be fair naman, it’s because the topic of forgiveness and the situation of the movie’s protagonists are quite familiar to us. I’m sure, karamihan satin, dumaan na rin sa ganitong sitwasyon at damdamin.

I wrote in my post No More What If’s: “Loving someone, following our dreams, turning a new leaf, forgiving someone, moving on ‚Äď these require actions and decisions…Loving someone is a decision, and you know what, so is moving on.”

Decisions. Choices. They determine our actions.

God Doesn’t Do Job Interviews

Last Friday, I attended a workshop held by our department’s VP. I really learned a lot and made me realize (and I’m sure, same goes for the other attendees) how much more preparation I need in terms of interviewing for a new post or role. Thanking God for this timely session, and appreciate my bosses including me at the last minute (saling ket-ket ako kaya walang certificate, to follow pa hehe).

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While I had a lot of take-aways, one that really struck me was when the speaker revealed that during an interview, the interviewer is not there to determine whether to hire me, but to reject me. I think of it as, they go in there with a mindset to trim down the list and decline me for the post, and it’s up to my brilliant selling powers, communication skills and vast experience (whether related to the post or not) to convince them otherwise.

This is a reality of life, especially for job-seekers or professionals looking for growth and other opportunities. Pero ika nga, ang buhay ay isang malaking job interview. There’s always a challenge we face in our life where we have to convince someone not to reject us or deprive us of something – courting someone, joining a club or organization, begging the landlord to extend the late rent payment, haggling with merchants or debt collectors, asking our parents for permission.

I’m glad one area of my life where I don’t have to always be at my best and act as if ¬†have to do something to prove myself worthy, is my relationship with God. God doesn’t look at my achievements, status, deeds or even physical appearance to deem me worthy of His love and grace. I am already worth it because His Son Jesus did all the work for me at the cross. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying don’t strive for excellence in life; it just shouldn’t be end-all of everything.

So when I’m down and feeling ugly, rejected, unfit or kulang, I hold on to this. It’s not always easy, and my faith is tested everyday. Like the fallible human that I am, when God is silent and not answering my prayer, I ask Him, why Lord? Akala ko ba mahal mo ko? What a shameful attitude to think that God owed me this little favor when He had already give me so much. I realized that it’s not that God is not listening or answering my cries, but that I am not the one listening hard enough. Oftentimes, the answer is right in front of me, but I refuse to recognize nor listen to it because I don’t like how it looks or sounds like. At yan ang isang bagay na kahit alam na alam ko na, malimit, hindi ko pa rin magawa. Ang hirap. Which is why I need and rely on His faithfulness.

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God will let me fall because He knows I can stand up again. God will allow me pain and hurt because He wants me to learn from them. God will close some doors because He wants me to look outside windows too, and will throw open bigger, better doors I would otherwise have missed had I insisted on going my own way. God will allow life to be tough, because nothing is too easy for His tough child Рme. God is not asking for our brilliant selling powers, communication skills and vast experience. And we need not ask him all these questions. He just needs us to trust everything to Him.

* photos from srditto.blogspot.com and http://www.hiresuccessstaffing.com. No copyright infringement intended.

Of Mustache and Bracelets

Check out my friend’s online shop, Mr. Mustache.¬†They sell an eclectic but gorgeous variety of bracelets (“arm parties”) to suit any personality, mood and style. Warning: they’re pretty addicting too. I’m just on my second set and I’m afraid it won’t be the last. Awaiting her new batch of watches as well. The best part: they’re so affordable, and if you get a few sets, you can just mix and match the pieces and come up with even more styles.

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Here’s my first arm party set in my fave color too (watch is mine):

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Got my kikay friends, Cy and Leng to buy some too. Leng also have two set to date. The only reason Cy doesn’t have two is because the styles she wants are all sold out. Mabili! ūüôā I got the black and gold set – fierce!

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Mr. Mustache recently released their watches. Astig pero cute!

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For orders, call/text or send a Viber message to +639175475743. They ship nationwide. Follow them on Instagram @mrmustacheboutique.

And if you ever wonder why it’s called Mr. Mustache (I did too, because the owner is a lady¬†and a pretty one at that), here’s their story:Image

‘Syana Lesson #2

*I edited the title (it was “Syana Lesson #1 earlier) because I remembered my first city-living lesson I learned when I stayed here for 6 weeks back in 2004: don’t get down from the jeep you’re riding if it’s not in the unloading zone. This ain’t Elbi. Because if you do, a traffic enforcer will approach you (and quite possibly apprehend you) and you will be forced to ask the motorcycle-riding stranger near you for a ride to the next stop, all in your business-attire-and-killer-heels glory. See my post, “Kwentong ‘Syana.”

Aminado naman akong promdi ako kahit ilang taon na ko nagtatrabaho sa syudad ng Muntinlupa. Bibihira lamang ako nagagawi sa ibang syudad sa kalakhang Maynila. Kasama ko pa ngayon ang isang batang first timer naman sa Makati Business District. Kandahaba leeg kakatingin sa mga tall buildings (“parang Hongkong lang”).

Lesson learned today: wag masyado excited. Wag basta-basta gora ng gora sa elevator, lalo na kung ito’y for floors 23-33 lang at sa 19th floor ang punta ninyo. Maaring magpabalik-balik ang elevator sa iba’t-ibang floors. Kung mangyari, patay malisya sa mga taong nakatingin. Bumalik lang sa ground floor.

Say ng bagets after magpa-register at yayain kong bumaba ulit para bumili ng lapis: “Mommy ayoko na, ang sakit ng ulo at ears ko, nakakahilo!”

Ayan, kaya nakahawak siya sa ears nya sa picture at dinaan n a lang sa ngiti. “Mommy parang nasa airplane!”

Toinks.

P.S. Have you noticed, whenever there’s a gathering of parents and kids, whether at school, program, soiree or like today, completer’s exam of Kumon (participants from all over this side of RP are converging at the main office) I noticed everyone always speaks in English. Like, even just to say, go sit there, pick up your pencil… KELANGAN STRAIGHT ENGLISH TALAGA LAGI?

Crush

When it comes to crushes, it’s often better to just leave it at that, never crossing the line, just admiring them from a safe distance. Once you take a step closer and find out they’re also human – they drool when they sleep, their fart smells like garbage or they have the capability to hurt you with words or actions – the illusion of perfection, the safety of a harmless attraction, the kilig factor, goes pfft.

Gone.

A couple of years ago, I wrote something about never underestimating the powers of good, old-fashioned kilig. I still believe that.

But really, when it comes to crushes, it’s often better to just leave it at that, never crossing the line, just admiring them from a safe distance.

So, you’re there, I’m here, and we will never, ever meet.

Pag sinabing smile…

Eksena: pre-movie dinner sa Gilligan’s, SM Calamba

Mga tauhan: Mommy Jaz, ang nanay na adik sa pictures at documentation; Ging, ang tweener na reluctant papicture ever; Tita Jean, tagakuha ng picture

Tita Jean: Ging ayusin mo, mag-smile ka.

Ging: I don’t like smiling for the camera.

Mommy Jaz: (saying while pasting on a big smile) Pag di ka nag-smile, kacancel ko yun banana shake mo, warm water iinumin mo.

Ging: (BIG SMILE!)

Click!

New role, errands, movie and kikays on the side

It’s only the midweek but wooh.

Monday was off to an embarrassing start unfortunately. I left Elbi the usual 6AM, but for some reason, the normal 15-minute stretch from Calamba Crossing’s bus terminal to the SLEX exit took almost 45 minutes. And just my luck that this was the first time in months I rode an ordinary bus to work; I usually catch the comfy, aircon ones. Whew. I hurriedly did my make up while sweating in the sauna bus and got on the ops floor 2 minutes late! Not a fab start for my first day as RAMO (Relief Assistant Manager for Operations). But still thanking God for the safe trip, the favor of getting the position at work and for understanding, if not overly comical officemates who made fun of me getting in late. Yeah, I guess I deserved that. Still a productive day ¬†– meeting the business partners at iHub and doing a call quality calib, and waiting for my systems access. The thought of 35 call monitors waiting for me kept me up almost all night. Choz. Just kidding.

Some encouragement from my “hashtag” buddies from work: Jown and Dman. Dman was my line manager for the most part of 2012 and is just one cool, astig mentor – and he’s just 21! He was starting in a new office last Monday too.

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Tuesday. Finally have some access and hit the ground running and started doing some call monitors. Hope my new team don’t hate me after they see them. ūüėÄ I love you guys! I was a bit slow and sluggish at first, toggling back and forth new screens and having lots of additional sheets to open, review or read. My usually-clean email pinged constantly with new, mostly unread mail and before I knew it, I spent an extra two hours at work. OTY. Not complaining, though. Adrenalin-rush! Bring it! Plus, I got some pretty good coaching from my manager and am excited to put everything in action. I know God is guiding and sharpening me in this new role. I did plop down on my bed after a quick hello to my daughter and woke up around 1 AM still in my work clothes. Ew.

Wednesday. Today, I took a day off and took care of my motor’s smoke emision and registration, went to the municipal hall to renew my solo-parent ID then had a barrel of black pearl tea. My skin’s probably darkened by three shades and the heat gave me a pounding headache I nursed with some halo-halo ice cream. Wooh. But productive day indeed. Later I’m heading off with my sister, Ging and friends to watch Ironman 3. Yey.

Ironman 3-fan gurl mode on. 

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Finally had one of these Super Cup teas almost every Elbi Isko and Iska were chugging around. Sulit naman for 50 bucks, it really was a super huge cup. Not too sweet, which is how I like my teas, and more more sago. Yum. A word of caution, though, for thsoe with pea-sized bladders… like me. ūüôā

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Almost didn’t find this smoke emision testing center. Biker-chick-mode on.

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Leadership Points to Ponder

Three major points the last three weeks have taught me so far (actually, God has revealed so much to me already but I’ll get to that on a later post! ;p):

1. Real leadership is not about having a position but having a Christ-like attitude. 

“…who, though he (Jesus) was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped.” ~ Philippians 2:6

2. Real leadership is not about ruling but serving. 

“And he (Jesus) said to them, ‘ If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.'” ~Mark 9:35

3. Real leadership is not about imposing our power so that others may follow us, but humbly using it to serve others as they follow us.

Attitude. Servantship. Humility. Can’t wait for next week! What a timely lesson the Lord has blessed us with, especially during this time in our (MY!) life. ūüôā

By the way, if you want to meet and hear the mayor and vice-mayor candidates of Los Banos speak, Victory Los Banos is holding a forum on April 28, Sunday, 2-4 PM at the center. Everyone is welcome to attend. Let’s be socially-responsible Christians and citizens and get to know the leaders we are electing to office. Let’s us pray for courage and discernment to choose the right leaders this coming May 2013 elections.

Remember, leadership is not a popularity contest.